Sawa chan Goes to Jail
by Nate Grey
Summary: Incriminating photos are found in Sawako's home, framed in many cases. The light music club reacts, though not in the way that public decency would demand. Rated M for serious business!


Notes: Finally, a story about Sawako. Don't worry, not as bad as it sounds.

Summary: Incriminating photos of half-dressed, underage girls are found in Sawako's home, framed in many cases. Naturally, the light music club takes action. Just not the way public decency would demand.

_Totally_ Forced Pairings: SawaMio, SawaOC

Somewhat Implied Pairings: SawaMugi, YuiAzu, MugiYui

**Sawa-chan Goes to Jail**

**A K-ON! Oneshot by**

**Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)**

* * *

Yamanaka Sawako had never had much luck with men. There were two main reasons for this.

First, Sawako had a tendency to go overboard when she was truly interested in something, and consequently, was sometimes so overwhelmingly masculine that it was a major turn-off.

Second, despite having an active interest in men, Sawako had found a strangely powerful enjoyment in fondling under aged girls. And while men could certainly appreciate that, it did not exactly display the qualities that most would seek in a woman (and the few men it did attract were always promptly arrested, or last seen jumping onto a plane headed to a far-off country).

Not having a boyfriend did bother Sawako a great deal, but she found other ways to keep herself occupied and relatively sane. Being a teacher was a job that didn't leave much time for other things, not when the students had easy access to her phone number and address. The only reason they didn't stop by unannounced was because Sawako had wisely (but somewhat illegally) purchased two enormous St. Bernards with the money she'd saved up over the years (from not dating and pawning the gifts that students continuously gave her). The dogs did an excellent job of scaring off intruders, and as an added bonus, were perfectly happy to lick her face when she came home. It was not the same as having an actual boyfriend, but it kept her warm on lonely nights.

That, and the more recent memories of the girls she'd fondled.

Especially Mio.

But in a rather unprecedented turn of events, Sawako was out shopping for clothes one day when she ran into a man. He was quite attractive, single, not gay, and best of all, offered to buy lunch.

Sawako was half-convinced that she would be happy to bear his children ten minutes into the conversation.

Things continued to go well, to the point where he offered to take her dancing that evening. Sawako agreed, on the condition that they could swing by her house and drop off her purchases.

Her dogs were trained to be naturally wary around strangers, but once they saw how well the stranger and their owner got along, they relaxed. Sawako did, too, and that was why she forgot to keep an eye on him.

The man waited in the living room while Sawako went upstairs to change. He was the curious type, as it paid to be in his line of work. His gaze happened to land on a framed portrait. At first glance, he thought he was looking at a strangely appealing bowl of rice. The second glance, followed by a prolonged stare, proved him wrong. Disapproving, but not yet disturbed, the man ventured further into the house, and promptly cancelled his plans for the night. He calmly pulled out his cell phone and called the office.

By the time Sawako came downstairs, the man was waiting for her with a stern frown, a few dog handlers, and a whole team of authorities. Half of them were gradually tagging and bagging all of Sawako's most prized possessions: photos of half-naked young girls, some blown up to poster size, others shrunken down to wallet size (for those times when she needed a pick-me-up halfway through the day).

"Yamanaka Sawako, you are under arrest."

It was in this way that Sawako discovered that her new potential love interest was actually a police officer with a strong intolerance for child molesters (not to mention three daughters under age ten).

* * *

The light music club was both small and close-knit, so any member's absence without explanation was immediately a cause for concern. It was normal for Sawako to skip a meeting every now and then, but unless Mugi had given her sweets earlier in the day, Sawako always popped in long enough for a quick bite (and an even quicker fondle, when she could manage it).

Sawako had actually been blackmailed into being the club's advisor, but it should never be said that she was not a true part of group.

Yui was halfway through a plate of sugar cookies when she looked up, noticed that no one had made a grab for her breasts in over ten minutes, and also realized that Mio had not shrieked in over twenty. Consequently, she reached a stunning conclusion.

"Sawa-chan sensei's not here!"

The other girls froze (except for Mio, who looked around wildly, expecting an ambush) and traded concerned looks.

"Did anyone see her at all today?" Azusa asked.

No one had.

"I can find her," Mugi volunteered, taking out her cell phone.

"You're going to call her, Mugi-chan?" Yui guessed.

Mugi didn't look up as she began to enter a long sequence of numbers. "No, I'm going to track the GPS device I had implanted in her glasses."

"Oh, you... WHAT?!" Ritsu shouted.

Mugi looked up in surprise. "Are you honestly telling me you don't want to know where she is at all times?"

Ritsu thought about that, then glanced at Mio, who was hiding with her back to the corner, so that Sawako would be forced to leap out in plain view, when and if she struck. "Point taken."

It took a few seconds, but Mugi came up with an answer. "I have good news and bad news, girls."

"Bad news first," Ritsu demanded.

"Sensei is in jail."

Everyone else (Mio included, this time) was floored.

"What?!" Azusa cried. Then, with narrowed eyes, "What did she do this time?!"

"I don't know," Mugi replied calmly. "The phone that could tell me that is at home."

No one really knew what to make of that.

Mugi cleared her throat. "Anyway, there is good news."

"Sawa-chan's in jail!" Yui wailed. "How could there be good news?"

"The good news is simply this. Because she's in jail, we know that she's fine."

This statement was met with complete silence.

It was then that Mio finally spoke up. "Wait, what?"

"You'll see," Mugi said confidently as she hit another button on her phone. "I'll have a car drive us over to get her right now."

"Mugi-chan, make sure it's one of the ones with those chocolate-covered cherries!" Yui shouted excitedly.

Everyone but Mugi shot her a dirty look.

For her part, Mugi only smiled and patted Yui's cheek fondly. "Don't be silly, Yui-chan. All of my cars come with those."

* * *

Akimichi Kiyone was not exactly what one might consider an ideal roommate. Her definition of "personal space," for example, was the space leftover after she had crushed a person. Needless to say, Kiyone was a very large, very angry woman, and she had grown into that seemingly overnight around the age of eight. And even before then, she had been a particularly unpleasant child, in no way attractive except when she was eating, because then the huge bowls she preferred to eat from at least hid her face for a few seconds.

Kiyone had been in jail for a long time, less because she was consistently committing crimes, and more because it just made sense. As far as the police were concerned, the only thing you'd get from putting a shark in with a school of goldfish was far less goldfish. Ironically enough, one of the main reasons they kept Kiyone around was to straighten out the newer prisoners. Usually the very sight of her was enough, but occasionally a prisoner needed a bit of Kiyone's magic touch.

And sometimes, her roommates (all temporary, of course) were those offenders who police loathed with a passion, and felt deserving of the full extent of Kiyone's wrath.

They put Sawako in Kiyone's cell.

This was a huge mistake, but not for any of the expected reasons.

Because Kiyone had grown so big and so mean so very quickly, she had never experienced all that life had to offer (although she had once hit a man so hard that he messed his pants).

In other words, Kiyone was very much a virgin.

All of which meant that there was really only one, true shark in that cell, and for the first time, it wasn't Kiyone.

Not that Kiyone knew any of that. When she first loomed over Sawako, she thought the gleam in the smaller woman's eyes was the start of tears.

She was very, very wrong.

* * *

None of the girls really had any idea how rich Mugi's family truly was.

They found out.

The police officer at the front desk patiently explained that with all the evidence that had been taken from Sawako's home, she'd be lucky to ever see the sun again. Although he knew for a fact that she'd be lucky to see anything, once Kiyone got done with her.

Mugi had patiently explained that she was willing to pay Sawako's bail (despite the fact that it had never been mentioned by the officer) and handed him her credit card (not only in the sense that her name was signed on the back and stamped on the front, but in the sense that it was issued from the Bank of Tsumugi).

Somewhat reluctantly, the officer handed the card back and explained that no bail had been set. The idea was that they DIDN'T want a person like Sawako walking the streets again.

Mugi politely thanked him for his time, walked away, and pulled out her cell phone, and called her father.

Five minutes later, the officer was begging at Mugi's feet not to be fired. Her only condition, of course, were that pretty much everyone should pretend that Sawako had never even been arrested in the first place.

* * *

Sawako was leaning against the wall, calmly picking her teeth with a toothpick when the cell door opened. She looked up just in time to have Yui and Ritsu barrel into her with twin cries of "Sawa-chan!" Smiling, she reached up to stroke their hair while they bawled into her dress.

"There, there, girls. I'm just fine. No need to cry."

Yui ceased her blubbering long enough to raise her head. "She's so brave, Ricchan!"

Sawako looked towards the cell door. Mugi was smiling at her, while Azusa and Mio were standing outside of the cell, behind the guard who'd let them in. When they caught Sawako looking, Azusa just glared (though a small part of her was glad to see Sawako unhurt), but Mio instantly shrank behind the guard. He noticed, but said nothing, not wanting to lose his job.

"Why don't you let us give you a ride home, Sensei?" Mugi offered. "I have some of those little cakes with the pink icing in the car."

"You," Sawako said sincerely as she crossed the cell, dragging Yui and Ritsu with her, "are an angel." She bent down and gave Mugi a lingering kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Mugi-chan."

Mugi turned bright red and slapped her hands to her cheeks. "S-Sensei, you're embarrassing me! We're in public!"

"Are we? I'd forgotten." Before she followed Mugi out of the cell, Sawako glanced over her shoulder. "It was absolutely lovely getting to know you, Kiyone-chan. We should do it again real soon."

Only Mio and the guard spotted the trembling bulk of humanity that had been hiding in the darkest corner of the cell the whole time.

And only Mio knew exactly what Kiyone meant when the woman whimpered, "N-No one will marry me now..."

* * *

Everyone (except for Mio and Azusa) wanted to sit next to Sawako during the ride home.

Sawako managed a generous compromise: they could all squeeze into her lap as best they could.

Ritsu finally volunteered to give up her spot, as did Mugi.

So it finally resulted in Yui hopping into Sawako's lap, dragging Azusa and Mio along completely against their wills. Sawako had no problem holding onto Mio, having gotten plenty of practice, and Azusa was not so much in Sawako's lap was she was in Yui's, so that worked out nicely. For everyone but Mio, that is.

Mio smiled along with everyone else, but it was strained, and she was a shade paler than was normal for her. And when the other girls were busy celebrating, she turned to Sawako and hissed, "They should've put you UNDER the jail, and then prayed for an earthquake!"

Sawako smiled and drew Mio closer, nibbling lightly on her ear before she whispered, "I missed you, too, Mio-chan. But I promise we'll never be parted again."

Mio whimpered softly in despair, especially when Sawako punctuated the statement with some spirited groping.

**The End?**

* * *

Endnotes:

Um, I actually had to look up child molestation laws (and St. Bernards) to pull this off. And Mugi probably isn't THAT rich. Probably.

Oh, about Kiyone: I borrowed her name from two anime characters: Naruto's Akimichi Clan (known for literally being big, round brawlers), and Bleach's Kotetsu Kiyone (a short, tomboy-ish, overly aggressive girl, who I still consider to be a boy on some deep, dark, disturbing level).

I don't want to imply anything too serious about Sawako. I know Mio is pretty skittish, so the very act of being forced into a change of clothes MIGHT be enough to traumatize her. But we also know Sawako at the very least likes to cop a feel. And that's just wrong, no matter how amusing it might appear. Okay, it IS amusing in this case, but still.

I could've focused more on what actually happened in the cell. But somehow I think your own imagination would do a better job of it, especially considering how you may or may not view how far Sawako actually goes with girls.


End file.
